Ghost Poopie

The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

Clean Poopie

The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

Wet Poopie

The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and underwear so you won’t ruin them with stains.

Second Wave Poopie

This happens when you’re done poopie-ing and you’ve pulled up your pants to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.

Pop-A-Vein-In-Your-Forehead-Poopie

The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

Gassy Poopie (The Sonic Dump)

It’s so noisy that everyone within earshot starts giggling.

Drinker Poopie

Occurs after a long night of drinking. Its most noticeable trait is the skid marks in the toilet bowl.

Lincoln Log Poopie

The kind of poopie that is so big, you’re afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

Liquid Plumber Poopie

This kind is so huge it plugs up the toilet and overflows all over the floor.  You should have followed the advice from Lincoln Log Poopie.

Corn Poopie

Self-explanatory.

Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Poopie Poopie

The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet, cramped, and fart a few times.

Spinal Tap Poopie

That’s where it hurts so bad coming out, you’d swear it was leaving you sideways.

I-Think-I’m-Giving-Birth-Through-My-Bunghole Poopie

Combination of Lincoln Log Poopie and Spinal Tap Poopie. The shape and size resembles a tall boy beer can. Vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards.

Wet Cheeks Poopie (The Power Dump)

The kind that comes out so fast, your butt gets splashed with water.

Liquid Poopie

The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.

Fire in the Bowl Poopie

The kind of poopie that singes your butt on its way out.

Rosy Cheeks Poopie

The kind where you have to wipe so many times it feels like you’ve sanded off most of the skin on your butt.

Porridge Poopie

The kind that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps coming. You can either flush and continue, or risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.

Bunny Poopie

When you drop lots of little round turds that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.

Mexican Food Poopie (The Toxic Dump)

It smells so bad your nose burns and everyone else in the restroom rushes out gasping for air.

Upper Class Poopie

Like Clean Poopie, but also leaves no odor.

Surprise Poopie

You’re not even at the toilet because you are sure you’re about to fart, but oops…a poopie!!!

Dangling Poopie

This kind refuses to drop into the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it. You just pray that a shake or two will cut it loose, because if you wipe now it’ll smear all over the place.

Fisherman’s Bobber Poopie

You are in a public restroom with two people waiting on your stall, you poopie and flush two times, but several golfball pieces are still floating above the water line.

Richard Simmons Poopie

You poopie so much you lose 30 pounds.

The VanGough Poopie

You are shocked to see all the different colors in your poopie, and try to figure out what you ate.

Paralyzing Poopie

When you’re sitting poopie-ing so long your legs fall asleep.

The Snake Charmer Poopie

A long skinny poopie which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position – usually harmless.

The Ranger Poopie

A poopie which refuses to let go. It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.

The Shiver Poopie

It’s followed by a quick shiver and a giggle, sometimes even goose-bumps.